mtg.wtf

Create a 5/5 black and red Elemental creature token. Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice for each black creature you control, then sacrifices a land of their choice for each red creature you control.

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.
{4}, {T}: Investigate.

When this creature enters, return target permanent to its owner's hand, then that player discards a card.

Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each other attacking Pirate.

Attacking Pirates you control get +2/+0.

At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may sacrifice another creature. If you do, this creature gets +2/+2 and gains trample until end of turn.

Whenever a blue creature you control enters, you may have target player draw a card.
Whenever a black creature you control enters, you may have target player discard a card.

Destroy target artifact, enchantment, or land. If a land was destroyed this way, its controller may search their library for up to two basic land cards, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Otherwise, its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Flashback {3}{R}{G}

Deathtouch
Other Zombie creatures you control get +1/+1.
Whenever another Zombie you control dies, target opponent loses 1 life.

Inspired — Whenever this creature becomes untapped, you may discard a nonland card. If you do, search your library for a card with the same mana value as that card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

{U}, {T}: Target creature gains flying and becomes blue until end of turn.

{R}: This creature gains first strike until end of turn.

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, choose a random nonland Magic card name. Until your next end step, you may cast a copy of a spell with that name, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it. If you cast a spell this way, copy this ability if Discord is on the battlefield.

At the beginning of each end step, if it's an opponent's turn, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature for each 1 damage dealt to you this turn.
At the beginning of your end step, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.

Surveil 2, then draw a card.

When this enchantment enters, you draw a card and each opponent discards a card.
Whenever you surveil, return this enchantment to its owner's hand.

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Kicker {2}{U}
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. If this spell was kicked, draw two cards.

Exile X target creatures, then investigate X times. Return the exiled cards to the battlefield tapped under their owners' control at the beginning of the next end step.

Each opponent returns a nonland permanent they control with the greatest mana value among permanents they control to its owner's hand, then discards a card.

When this enchantment enters, you may sacrifice another enchantment or creature. If you do, draw two cards.
When you sacrifice this enchantment, manifest dread.

At the beginning of combat on your turn, target noncreature artifact you control becomes an 8/8 Robot Villain artifact creature in addition to its other types.

Other Villains you control get +2/+2.
Your maximum hand size is eight.
At the beginning of your end step, if you have fewer than eight cards in hand, draw cards equal to the difference.

Domesticated Watercourse enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.
{U}{B}: Until end of turn, Domesticated Watercourse becomes an Equipment artifact with equip {2}.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.

[+1]: Look at the top card of your library. If it's a creature card, you may reveal it and put it into your hand.
[–2]: Target creature you control fights another target creature.
[–7]: You get an emblem with "Creatures you control have double strike, trample, hexproof, and haste."