mtg.wtf

As Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
If you would roll one or more six-sided dice, instead roll them and you may exchange one result with Vedalken Squirrel-Whacker's base power or base toughness.

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it, then look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile Animate Graveyard.

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Destroy target creature and up to X other target creatures, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn.

Deathtouch
When Carnival Carnivore enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

When Deadbeat Attendant enters, open an Attraction.

When Discourtesy Clerk enters, open an Attraction.
At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Attractions, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Flying, haste
When Dissatisfied Customer enters, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 3 or less, you lose that much life.

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. Destroy up to one target Attraction that player controls.

Yell "Who wants a souvenir?" and announce the name of a nonland card in your graveyard. Each player in an Un-game who can hear you may bid life. You start the bidding at 0. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid. They copy the card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost. If you didn't win the bid, you gain life equal to the high bid and create that many Treasure tokens.

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it, then it becomes an Aura with enchant creature. Return a creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield and attach this Aura to it.
Enchanted creature gets +2/+0 for each name sticker on this Aura with seven or fewer letters.
When this Aura leaves the battlefield, sacrifice enchanted creature.

"Lifetime" Pass Holder enters tapped.
When "Lifetime" Pass Holder dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return "Lifetime" Pass Holder from your graveyard to the battlefield.

When Line Cutter enters, roll to visit your Attractions.

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a word with five or more letters.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Before the game begins, you may post a picture of yourself posing like the art of any Magic card with #GuessThatMagicCard and no other text.
You may reveal a reply posted today with a guess and a card you own from outside the game with the same name as that guess. Put that card into your hand. Exile Photo Op.

Return up to two target creature cards from your graveyard to your hand. Create a Food token for each trash can you can see from your seat. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Menace
Whenever Quick Fixer deals combat damage to a player, open an Attraction.

{T}, Sacrifice Rat in the Hat: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.