445 cards found
Elvish Impersonators

Elvish Impersonators {3}{G}

Creature - Elves
As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
"Uh-hunh."
*/*
  • Unglued
Emcee

Emcee {2}{W}

Creature - Human Rogue
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
The ogre appealed the match loss and got it downgraded to a warning.
0/1
Enraged Killbot

Enraged Killbot {2}

Artifact Creature - Killbot
"click . . . whirrrr . . . beep . . . click!"
2/1
  • Unstable
Enter the Dungeon

Enter the Dungeon {B}{B}

Sorcery
Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles their library.
  • Unhinged
Entirely Normal Armchair

Entirely Normal Armchair

Artifact
During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only any opponent may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.
  • Unstable
Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One) {2}{W}

Instant
If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.
Synonyms for "erase" we haven't used: ablate, a̶b̶r̶a̶d̶e̶, chafe, fray, f̶r̶a̶z̶z̶l̶e̶, scuff, and scrub.
  • Unhinged
Everythingamajig (a)

Everythingamajig (a) {5}

Artifact
{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
  • Unstable
Everythingamajig (b)

Everythingamajig (b) {5}

Artifact
{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate this ability only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: You may put a silver-bordered permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.
  • Unstable
Everythingamajig (c)

Everythingamajig (c) {5}

Artifact
{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate this ability only during your turn.
{X}: Everythingamajig becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.
  • Unstable
Everythingamajig (d)

Everythingamajig (d) {6}

Artifact
{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.
{8}, {T}: Everythingamajig deals 12 damage to target creature.
  • Unstable
Everythingamajig (e)

Everythingamajig (e) {5}

Artifact
Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
  • Unstable
Everythingamajig (f)

Everythingamajig (f) {8}

Artifact
{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.
  • Unstable
Evil Presents

Evil Presents {2}{B}{B}

Sorcery
Put a creature card from your hand into play under target opponent's control. That creature attacks each turn if able... and always attacks its controller.
'Tis better to give than to receive.
  • Happy Holidays
Extremely Slow Zombie

Extremely Slow Zombie {1}{B}

Creature - Zombie
Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Brrrrrrrrrrrr . . .
3/3
Eye to Eye

Eye to Eye {2}{B}

Instant
You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.
True, Gargox had blinded himself for life, but the glass eyes never lost.
  • Unhinged
Face to Face

Face to Face {1}{R}

Sorcery
You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.
Befuddled by this new game, Argg longed for the days of Rock, Rock, Rock.
  • Unhinged
Farewell to Arms

Farewell to Arms {1}{B}{B}

Enchantment
As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)
Fascist Art Director

Fascist Art Director {1}{W}{W}

Creature - Human Horror
{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cranford, After careful analysis of Jeremy's vocational testing, I feel that he is best suited for a career in either torture or art direction.
2/2
  • Unhinged
Fat Ass

Fat Ass {4}{G}

Creature - Donkey Shaman
Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)
Our lawyers say no matter how funny it would be, we can't encourage players to eat the cards. Hear that? Whatever you do, don't eat the delicious cards.
2/3½
  • Unhinged
Feisty Stegosaurus

Feisty Stegosaurus {4}{R}

Host Creature - Dinosaur
When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.
2/1
  • Unstable
Finders, Keepers

Finders, Keepers {5}{B}

Sorcery
Destroy target creature, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
The S.N.E.A.K. Code clearly permits looting corpses for parts. That just meant Agent 47.3 had to make sure her target was dead first.
  • Unstable
First Come, First Served

First Come, First Served {1}{W}

Enchantment
Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.
The Yotian soldiers hoped that one day R&D would make an artifact creature whose name starts with Z. And in their dreams, it's a 4/1.
  • Unhinged
First Pick

First Pick {3}{G}

Instant
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Picking hammers is dangerous, but it's still safer than harvesting saw bushes.
  • Unstable
Five-Finger Discount

Five-Finger Discount {4}{U}{U}

Sorcery
Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.
"Dognapping is such an ugly word. I would characterize this as a unilateral redistribution of pets."
  • Unstable
Flaccify

Flaccify {2}{U}

Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.
"Don't worry about it. It happens to every mage sooner or later."
  • Unhinged