mtg.wtf

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Cannot be the target of spells or effects. World Champion has power and toughness equal to the life total of target opponent.
{0}: Discard your hand to search your library for 1996 World Champion and reveal it to all players. Shuffle your library and put 1996 World Champion on top of it. Use this ability only at the beginning of your upkeep, and only if 1996 World Champion is in your library.

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

As Abian, Luvion Usurper enters the battlefield, you become Abian. (Your life total becomes equal to their loyalty. You can activate the loyalty abilities by spending or gaining life.)
[+3]: Discard your hand, then draw cards equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.
[+1]: Create a 3/2 red and green Spirit creature token.
[–X]: You deal X damage to any target.

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Whenever you crank Accessories to Murder, target creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get {A} (an acorn counter).
Whenever a Squirrel you control enters the battlefield or dies, you get {A}.
{2}{B}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
{G}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.

When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Flying
{3}{W}, Sacrifice another artifact: Aerial Toastmaster assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

At the beginning of your combat step, tap Aggressive Crag.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

When Alpha Guard enters the battlefield, choose a letter.
{T}: Untap another target permanent whose name starts with the chosen letter.

At the beginning of the Horde's precombat main phase, reveal an additional card from the top of the Horde's library. The Horde casts that card.
Hero's Reward — When Altar of Mogis is put into a graveyard from anywhere, the Horde sacrifices two Minotaurs.

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Choose one or both —
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)
You may apologize. If you do, you gain 3 life.

Reach
As long as Andrios is attacking, tapped creatures you control with base power and toughness 4/3 have base power and toughness 16/9.
{T}: Add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}. Creature spells you spend this mana to cast have their base power and toughness become 4/3.

Flying
When Angelic Harold enters the battlefield, you may put a name sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Each creature you control with three or more words in its name gets +1/+1.