Unsanctioned
Goblin Haberdasher {2}{R}
Creature - Goblin Hatificer
Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.
An accessory in every sense of the word.
2/2
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team {3}{R}
Creature - Goblin Warrior
Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.
They refer to their methods as "special S.W.A.T. tactics," and no one has lived to correct them.
2/2
Goblin Tutor {R}
Instant
Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery
Infinity Elemental {4}{R}{R}{R}
Creature - Elemental
(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)
It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says, "It's so infinite that its flavor text says,
∞/5
Painiac {2}{R}
Creature - Brainiac
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.
"You're about to be struck by a brilliant idea!"
0/3
Six-y Beast {3}{R}
Creature - Beast
As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters the battlefield.
Is it six?
0/0
Stet, Draconic Proofreader {4}{R}{R}
Legendary Creature - Dragon Bureaucrat
Flying
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.
Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.
{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.
4/4
Strategy, Schmategy {1}{R}
Sorcery
Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.
Super-Duper Death Ray {2}{R}
Instant
Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.
"Comin' through!"
Yet Another Aether Vortex {3}{R}{R}
Enchantment
All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.
It puts the "vortex" in "flavortext."
B-I-N-G-O {1}{G}
Creature - Dog
Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.
There was a farmer, had a hound . . .
1/1
Elvish Impersonators {3}{G}
Creature - Elves
As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.
"Uh-hunh."
*/*
Free-Range Chicken {3}{G}
Creature - Bird
{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)
3/3
Growth Spurt {1}{G}
Instant
Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
MORE TO LOVE: Friendly, nature-loving, Bunyonesque SEM seeks SEF looking for a huge commitment. . . . seeks atog prince
Half-Squirrel, Half-
Creature - Squirrel
(Color indicator: Half-Squirrel, Half- is green)
Whenever a nontoken creature enters the battlefield,Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)
-1/-0
Mother Kangaroo {4}{G}
Host Creature - Kangaroo
When this creature enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
1/1
Old Fogey {G}{G}
Summon - Dinosaur
Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo {G}{G}, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2
"These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's real Magic."
7/7
Pippa, Duchess of Dice {2}{G}
Legendary Creature - Human Noble
{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)
When it came to following her orders, it was do and die.
2/2
Slaying Mantis {5}{G}{G}
Creature - Insect Wrestler
Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move cards on the battlefield.)
Slaying Mantis enters the battlefield by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters the battlefield, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.
Slaying Mantis enters the battlefield by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When Slaying Mantis enters the battlefield, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.
6/6
Spirit of the Season {1}{G}{G}
Creature - Treefolk Spirit
When Spirit of the Season enters the battlefield, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
Summoned for all the wrong seasons.
3/3
Squirrel Farm {2}{G}
Enchantment
{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
"And the ignorant shall fall to the squirrels."
—Chip 2:54
—Chip 2:54
Surgeon General Commander {3}{G}
Legendary Creature - Wombat Bat Chameleon
Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.
Likes: augmentation, fluffy animals, creative templating.
3/3
Timmy, Power Gamer {2}{G}{G}
Legendary Creature - Human Gamer
{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.
"Just wait till I get my Gigantosaurus...."
1/1
Wild Crocodile {1}{G}
Host Creature - Crocodile
When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
1/1
