468 cards found
Fascist Art Director

Fascist Art Director {1}{W}{W}

Creature - Human Horror
{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cranford, After careful analysis of Jeremy's vocational testing, I feel that he is best suited for a career in either torture or art direction.
2/2
  • Unhinged
Fat Ass

Fat Ass {4}{G}

Creature - Donkey Shaman
Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)
Our lawyers say no matter how funny it would be, we can't encourage players to eat the cards. Hear that? Whatever you do, don't eat the delicious cards.
2/3½
  • Unhinged
Feisty Stegosaurus

Feisty Stegosaurus {4}{R}

Host Creature - Dinosaur
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.
2/1
  • Unstable
Finders, Keepers

Finders, Keepers {5}{B}

Sorcery
Destroy target creature, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
The S.N.E.A.K. Code clearly permits looting corpses for parts. That just meant Agent 47.3 had to make sure her target was dead first.
  • Unstable
First Come, First Served

First Come, First Served {1}{W}

Enchantment
Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.
Yotian soldiers hoped that one day R&D would make an artifact creature whose name starts with Z. And in their dreams, it's a 4/1.
  • Unhinged
First Pick

First Pick {3}{G}

Instant
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Picking hammers is dangerous, but it's still safer than harvesting saw bushes.
  • Unstable
Five-Finger Discount

Five-Finger Discount {4}{U}{U}

Sorcery
Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.
"Dognapping is such an ugly word. I would characterize this as a unilateral redistribution of pets."
  • Unstable
Flaccify

Flaccify {2}{U}

Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.
"Don't worry about it. It happens to every mage sooner or later."
  • Unhinged
Flavor Judge

Flavor Judge {1}{W}

Creature - Bird Advisor
{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.
"...and now they're trying to make a brick wall on my property fight a dinosaur to the death."
2/2
Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flock of Rabid Sheep {X}{G}{G}

Sorcery
Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.
And their bleating was like a wet salmon slapped upon the land—slap! slap! slap!
  • Unglued
Fluttershy

Fluttershy {1}{G}{W}

Legendary Creature - Pegasus
Defender, flying
{1}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature with a tail target player controls. Stare down up to one target creature until end of turn.
"My sanctuary can be the one place in Equestria critters call home."
0/4
  • Secret Lair Drop
Form of the Squirrel

Form of the Squirrel {G}

Enchantment
As Form of the Squirrel enters, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.
  • Unhinged
Fowl Play

Fowl Play {2}{U}

Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.
"I feel like chicken tonight!"
  • Unglued
Fraction Jackson

Fraction Jackson {2}{G}

Creature - Human Hero
{G}, {T}: Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.
Bitten by radioactive beebles in a freak algebra accident, young Ricky Robertson discovered he'd gained the ability to harness the awesome power of fractions!
1/1½
  • Unhinged
Framed!

Framed! {1}{U}

Instant
Choose an artist. Tap all untapped permanents with art by that artist or untap all tapped permanents with art by that artist.
Who knew an 8˝ by 10˝ could feel like a 2˝ by 4˝?
  • Unhinged
Frankie Peanuts

Frankie Peanuts {2}{W}{W}

Legendary Creature - Elephant Rogue
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.
Don't cross him or you'll end up sleeping with the merfolk.
2/3
Frazzled Editor

Frazzled Editor {1}{R}

Creature - Human Bureaucrat
Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
The pen is mightier than the sword.
2/2
Free-Range Chicken

Free-Range Chicken {3}{G}

Creature - Bird
{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)
3/3
Free-for-All

Free-for-All {3}{U}

Enchantment
When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.
  • Unglued
Fruitcake Elemental

Fruitcake Elemental {1}{G}{G}

Creature - Elemental
Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.
At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.
{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.
Experiments intended to create the perfect holiday emissary resulted in a substance harder than darksteel and a fraction as merry.
7/7
  • Happy Holidays
GO TO JAIL

GO TO JAIL {W}

Enchantment
When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.
Garbage Elemental (a)

Garbage Elemental (a) {4}{R}

Creature - Elemental
Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)
Garbage Elemental can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
2/4
  • Unstable
Garbage Elemental (b)

Garbage Elemental (b) {4}{R}

Creature - Elemental Rigger
When Garbage Elemental enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)
3/1
  • Unstable
Garbage Elemental (c)

Garbage Elemental (c) {4}{R}

Creature - Elemental
Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.
3/2
  • Unstable
Garbage Elemental (d)

Garbage Elemental (d) {4}{R}

Creature - Elemental
Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll a six-sided die. Garbage Elemental deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.
3/3
  • Unstable