mtg.wtf

"It remains unclear whether the akki shamans could in fact create storms or simply predicted them."
—The History of Kamigawa

Akki were very territorial, attacking and destroying any settlements that came too close to their mountain homes. The more successful their raids, the bolder they became.

The lava-proof shells of akki evolved over centuries, as akki pranks almost always got seriously out of hand.

"I lost my hounds in the war and thus found myself employing akki as servants. I found their training to be remarkably similar."
—Kensuke, houndmaster

"No need for a hurda? How about these maps to recently discovered tombs? Or these vials of invisible potion? Very fancy . . ."

Boggarts divide the world into two categories: things you can eat, and things you have to chase down and pummel before you can eat.

The stone whispers tales of darkness and fire. She replies, "Tell me more."

"Auntie pointed out to the faerie how much mischief a flying boggart could wreak, and a beautiful new friendship was born."
—A tale of Auntie Grub

"Punch 'em, kick 'em, bite 'em, beat 'em! Burn 'em all and we'll defeat 'em!"

Eyes are unnecessary for seeing the future.

"A small price to keep such pretty things safe."

Atarka serving-goblins coat themselves with grease imbued with noxious herbs, hoping to discourage their ravenous masters from adding them to the meal.

Not every job in the goblin army is glamorous. Actually, *no* job in the goblin army is glamorous.

Legends say a djinn gave the goblins a gift they could never hope to master.

Among the boggarts, there is only one real rule: all new treasures and experiences must be shared. Those who hoard their gifts commit the one truly unforgivable sin.

The Frogtossers thread feathers, bones, and trophies from past raids into their standards, believing they fuel the warren with the anger of its victims.

Always easily impressed, Durg was about to be blown away.

What he lacks in patience, intelligence, empathy, lucidity, hygiene, ability to follow orders, self-regard, and discernible skills, he makes up for in sheer chaotic violence.

"I opens my mouth to catches the bugs!"

Like a loaded cannon—point and shoot.

It's easy to stand head and shoulders over those with no backbone.

Every once in a while, when they aren't getting incinerated in lava, crushed under rock slides, or devoured by dragons, goblins experience moments of unmitigated glory in battle.

When you need to convey that special kind of message.