mtg.wtf

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

"Lifetime" Pass Holder enters tapped.
When "Lifetime" Pass Holder dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return "Lifetime" Pass Holder from your graveyard to the battlefield.

When this creature enters from anywhere other than a graveyard or exile, if it's on the battlefield and you control 9 or fewer creatures named "Name Sticker" Goblin, roll a 20-sided die.
1-6 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}.
7-14 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}{R}.
15-20 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}{R}{R}.

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Cannot be the target of spells or effects. World Champion has power and toughness equal to the life total of target opponent.
{0}: Discard your hand to search your library for 1996 World Champion and reveal it to all players. Shuffle your library and put 1996 World Champion on top of it. Use this ability only at the beginning of your upkeep, and only if 1996 World Champion is in your library.

When you set this scheme in motion, until your next turn, whenever a player taps a land for mana, that player adds one mana of any type that land produced.

When A Girl and Her Dogs enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, create a 1/1 white legendary Dog creature token and name it.
Whenever A Girl and Her Dogs attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each legendary creature you control.

Tap up to two target creatures.
Whenever you put a name sticker on a creature, you may return A Good Day to Pie from your graveyard to your hand.

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

When you set this scheme in motion, reveal the top two cards of your library and put them into your hand. When you reveal one or more nonland cards this way, this scheme deals damage equal to their total mana value to any target.

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

When you set this scheme in motion, look at the top six cards of your library. You may put a creature card from among them onto the battlefield. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Enchanted creatures you control get +2/+2.

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Flying
When Aarakocra Sneak enters, you take the initiative.

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Trample
Mark of Chaos Ascendant — During your turn, spells you cast from your hand with mana value X or less have cascade, where X is the total amount of life your opponents have lost this turn.

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard X cards.
Look at target opponent's hand and choose X cards from it. That player discards those cards.

Up to two target creatures each get +1/+0 and gain first strike until end of turn.
Madness {1}{R}

Up to two target creatures can't block this turn.
Flashback {3}{R}

Abandoned Outpost enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}.
{T}, Sacrifice Abandoned Outpost: Add one mana of any color.

You may cast spells that have a cycling ability from your graveyard.
If a card that has a cycling ability would be put into your graveyard from anywhere and it wasn't cycled, exile it instead.

First strike
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Abattoir Ghoul this turn dies, you gain life equal to that creature's toughness.

Flying, protection from red