mtg.wtf

When you planeswalk to The Dining Car, each player creates a Food token.
Sixty-Six Seconds — At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control. Then investigate.
Whenever chaos ensues, activated abilities of artifact tokens you control cost {2} less to activate this turn.

I, II — You gain 2 life. Look at the top three cards of your library. Exile one of them face down with a hatching counter on it, then put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
III — Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.

Grumpy Co-play — When The Egotistical Velociraptor enters the battlefield, if you cast it, you may choose another Magic player not currently in a game of Magic and ask them to take over your game until the end of your next turn. If they agree, shuffle your hand into your library, draw four cards and gain 4 life. (You can't give them advice, but witty banter is encouraged.)

Read ahead
I — The Elder Dragon War deals 2 damage to each creature and each opponent.
II — Discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards.
III — Create a 4/4 red Dragon creature token with flying.

I — Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker of their choice.
II — Each opponent discards a card.
III — Put target creature or planeswalker card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

I. AM. TALKING! — Whenever The Eleventh Doctor deals combat damage to a player, you may exile a card from your hand with a number of time counters on it equal to its mana value. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend.
{2}: Target creature with power 3 or less can't be blocked this turn.

I — Search your library for a Doctor card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
II — Create a Food token and a 1/1 white Human creature token with "Doctor spells you cast cost {1} less to cast."
III — Create a token that's a copy of target creature, except it's a legendary Alien named Prisoner Zero.

When The Everflowing Well enters, mill two cards, then draw two cards.
Descend 8 — At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are eight or more permanent cards in your graveyard, transform The Everflowing Well.

I — Exile target creature an opponent controls with mana value 4 or greater.
II — Each player gains control of all permanents they own.
III — Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.

Peaceful Coexistence — At the beginning of your end step, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control that didn't attack or enter this turn. Untap those creatures.

I — The First Eruption deals 1 damage to each creature without flying.
II — Add {R}{R}.
III — Sacrifice a Mountain. If you do, The First Eruption deals 3 damage to each creature.

I — Create a 1/1 white Human Soldier creature token.
II — Put three +1/+1 counters on target creature you control.
III — If you control a creature with power 4 or greater, draw two cards.
IV — Create a Gold token.

I — You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield. If its mana cost contains {X}, it enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of lands you control.
II, III — Double the number of each kind of counter on target creature you control.

I — Discard your hand.
II — Draw two cards.
III — If a red source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player this turn, it deals that much damage plus 2 to that permanent or player instead.

Islandwalk
Water Always Wins — Whenever The Flood of Mars attacks, put a flood counter on another target creature or land. If it's a creature, it becomes a copy of The Flood of Mars. If it's a land, it becomes an Island in addition to its other types.

I — The Flux deals 4 damage to target creature an opponent controls.
II, III, IV, V — Exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
VI — Add six {R}.

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
Would You Like A...? — Once each turn, you may play a historic land or cast a historic spell from the top of your library. When you do, create a Food token.

I — Create a 1/1 white Human Noble creature token with vanishing 3 and "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to this creature."
II — Create a 2/2 white Horse creature token with "Doctors you control have horsemanship."
III — Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player this turn, time travel.

Arcane Life-support — If you would lose the game, instead exile The Golden Throne and your life total becomes 1.
A Thousand Souls Die Every Day — {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Add three mana in any combination of colors.

I — Mill ten cards. Put up to two creature cards from among the milled cards onto the battlefield.
II — Distribute seven +1/+1 counters among any number of target creatures you control.
III — Until end of turn, creatures you control gain "{1}: This creature fights target creature you don't control." Exile The Grand Evolution, then return it to the battlefield.

I — Draw cards equal to the number of cards in your hand. You have no maximum hand size for as long as you control The Great Synthesis.
II — Return all non-Phyrexian creatures to their owners' hands.
III — You may cast any number of spells from your hand without paying their mana costs. Exile The Great Synthesis, then return it to the battlefield.

I — The Great Work deals 3 damage to target opponent and each creature they control.
II — Create three Treasure tokens.
III — Until end of turn, you may cast instant and sorcery spells from any graveyard. If a spell cast this way would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead. Exile The Great Work, then return it to the battlefield.

{T}: Surveil 1.
{T}: Until end of turn, each creature card in your graveyard gains "Escape—{3}{B}, Exile four other cards from your graveyard."

Ew-minance — When The Gunky Runner enters and at the beginning of the first upkeep in a game where it's your commander, shuffle three Gunk cards into each opponent's library. (Gunk is a colorless sorcery card with no mana cost and cycling {4}.)
Whenever an opponent loses life, they shuffle that many Gunk cards into their library.
Ready to run (You can have two commanders if both have ready to run.)

I — For each opponent, gain control of up to one target nonlegendary creature that player controls for as long as The Horus Heresy remains on the battlefield.
II — Draw a card for each creature you control but don't own.
III — Starting with you, each player chooses a creature. Destroy each creature chosen this way.