mtg.wtf

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
Would You Like A...? — Once each turn, you may play a historic land or cast a historic spell from the top of your library. When you do, create a Food token.

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a nonblack creature.
Whenever chaos ensues, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

When The Fugitive Doctor enters, investigate.
Whenever The Fugitive Doctor attacks, you may sacrifice a Clue. When you do, target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard gains flashback {2}{R}{G} until end of turn.

Exile The General: Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. Untap them.

I — Create a 1/1 white Human Noble creature token with vanishing 3 and "Prevent all damage that would be dealt to this token."
II — Create a 2/2 white Horse creature token with "Doctors you control have horsemanship."
III — Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player this turn, time travel.

Deathtouch
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice The Gitrog Monster unless you sacrifice a land.
You may play an additional land on each of your turns.
Whenever one or more land cards are put into your graveyard from anywhere, draw a card.

Trample, haste
Whenever The Gitrog deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice a creature that saddled it this turn. If you do, draw X cards, then put up to X land cards from your hand onto the battlefield tapped, where X is the sacrificed creature's power.
Saddle 1

Ascend
Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token. Then draw a card if you have the city's blessing.
Whenever chaos ensues, you may put a permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped.

Arcane Life-support — If you would lose the game, instead exile The Golden Throne and your life total becomes 1.
A Thousand Souls Die Every Day — {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Add three mana in any combination of colors.

When The Good Time Sleuth enters, exile the top card of your library and each nontoken creature you control in a face-down pile, shuffle that pile, then manifest those cards. Then create a Blood token for each face-down creature you control. Those creature gain "Sacrifice a Blood: Turn this creature face up." Secretly choose one of them. As that creature is turned face up, reveal the choice and it becomes a 5/5 black Demon.

Flying
The Goose Mother enters with X +1/+1 counters on it.
When The Goose Mother enters, create half X Food tokens, rounded up.
Whenever The Goose Mother attacks, you may sacrifice a Food. If you do, draw a card.

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

I — Mill ten cards. Put up to two creature cards from among the milled cards onto the battlefield.
II — Distribute seven +1/+1 counters among any number of target creatures you control.
III — Until end of turn, creatures you control gain "{1}: This creature fights target creature you don't control." Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield.

Exile target permanent, then put it into its owner's hand. That player discards that card, then puts it on top of their library. Then they put it onto the battlefield.

When you planeswalk to The Great Aerie and at the beginning of your upkeep, bolster 3.
Whenever chaos ensues, choose up to one target creature you control and up to one target creature an opponent controls. Each of those creatures deals damage equal to its toughness to the other.

Each player shuffles all cards from their hand and all permanents they own into their library, then draws that many cards. Each player may put any number of land cards from their hand onto the battlefield. Exile The Great Aurora.

Each creature assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power.
Whenever chaos ensues, creatures you control get +0/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.
{T}: Add {G}{G}. You gain 2 life.
Whenever a nontoken creature you control enters, put a +1/+1 counter on it and draw a card.

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice The Great Juggernaut unless you discard a card.
Whenever The Great Juggernaut attacks, shuffle your library then exile the top card of your library. You may play that card without paying its mana cost this turn.

I — Draw cards equal to the number of cards in your hand. You have no maximum hand size for as long as you control this Saga.
II — Return all non-Phyrexian creatures to their owners' hands.
III — You may cast any number of spells from your hand without paying their mana costs. Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield.

I — This Saga deals 3 damage to target opponent and each creature they control.
II — Create three Treasure tokens.
III — Until end of turn, you may cast instant and sorcery spells from any graveyard. If a spell cast this way would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead. Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield.

Ew-minance — When The Gunky Runner enters and at the beginning of the first upkeep in a game where it's your commander, shuffle three Gunk cards into each opponent's library. (Gunk is a colorless sorcery card with no mana cost and cycling {4}.)
Whenever an opponent loses life, they shuffle that many Gunk cards into their library.
Ready to run (You can have two commanders if both have ready to run.)

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Flying, lifelink
Whenever The Haunt of Hightower attacks, defending player discards a card.
Whenever a card is put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, put a +1/+1 counter on The Haunt of Hightower.

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Exile the bottom card of target opponent's library.
Whenever one or more cards an opponent owns are put into exile, put a release counter on The Heron Moon. Then if it has thirteen or more release counters on it, sacrifice it and create a copy of Emrakul, the Promised End. Cast it without paying its mana cost.