mtg.wtf

Whenever a player draws their second card during their turn, you draw a card.
Whenever a player casts their second spell during their turn, you create a 2/2 white Knight creature token.

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Assist
Support X.
Each creature with a +1/+1 counter on it gains trample until end of turn.

Read ahead
I — Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a creature or planeswalker card from it. That player discards that card.
II — Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle. You lose 3 life.
III — Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

I — For each player, destroy up to one target creature that player controls. For each creature destroyed this way, its controller creates a 3/3 green Mutant creature token with deathtouch.
II — Target nontoken creature becomes a 6/6 legendary Horror creature named Fenric and loses all abilities.
III — Target Mutant fights another target creature named Fenric.

When The Cyber-Controller enters the battlefield, each opponent mills X cards. Put all creature cards milled this way onto the battlefield face down under your control. They're 2/2 Cyberman artifact creatures.
Other artifact creatures you control get +1/+1.

Whenever a nonblack card is put into a player's graveyard from anywhere, that player loses 1 life.
Whenever chaos ensues, each opponent discards a card.

I, II, III — Exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a legendary card. You may play that card for as long as The Day of the Doctor remains on the battlefield. Put the rest of those exiled cards on the bottom of your library in a random order.
IV — Choose up to three Doctors. You may exile all other creatures. If you do, The Day of the Doctor deals 13 damage to you.

When you set this scheme in motion, for each opponent, put up to one target creature card from that player's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. Each of those creatures attacks its owner each combat if able.

{2}, {T}: Roll a d20 and subtract the number of cards in your hand. If the result is 0 or less, discard your hand.
1—9 | Return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
10—19 | Draw two cards.
20 | Put a creature card from any graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. When that creature dies, its owner loses the game.

Spells you control that target a creature you control cost {2} less to cast.

When you planeswalk to The Dining Car, each player creates a Food token.
Sixty-Six Seconds — At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control. Then investigate.
Whenever chaos ensues, activated abilities of artifact tokens you control cost {2} less to activate this turn.

Creatures enter the battlefield tapped.
Whenever chaos ensues, for each opponent, choose up to one target nonland permanent that opponent controls. Untap those permanents. They phase out. They can't phase in for as long as The Doctor's Childhood Barn remains face up. When a player planeswalks, those permanents phase in.

If a creature would die, instead exile it and that creature's controller loses 2 life.
Whenever chaos ensues, redistribute any number of players' life totals.

I, II — You gain 2 life. Look at the top three cards of your library. Exile one of them face down with a hatching counter on it, then put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
III — Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.

Whenever you roll the planar die, creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain haste until end of turn.
Whenever chaos ensues, end the turn.

When The Eighth Doctor enters the battlefield, mill three cards.
Once during each of your turns, you may play a historic land or cast a historic permanent spell from your graveyard. If you do, it gains "If this permanent would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

Read ahead
I — The Elder Dragon War deals 2 damage to each creature and each opponent.
II — Discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards.
III — Create a 4/4 red Dragon creature token with flying.

I — Each opponent sacrifices a creature or planeswalker.
II — Each opponent discards a card.
III — Put target creature or planeswalker card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

I. AM. TALKING! — Whenever The Eleventh Doctor deals combat damage to a player, you may exile a card from your hand with a number of time counters on it equal to its mana value. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend.
{2}: Target creature with power 3 or less can't be blocked this turn.

This spell costs {2} less to cast if your life total is 5 or less.
Exile target creature or planeswalker. Search its controller's graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that permanent and exile them. That player shuffles, then draws a card for each card exiled from their hand this way.

The Enigma Jewel enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to activate abilities.
Craft with four or more nonlands with activated abilities {8}{U}

Players skip their untap steps.
Whenever chaos ensues, untap all permanents you control.

No more than one creature can attack The Eternal Wanderer each combat.
[+1]: Exile up to one target artifact or creature. Return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of that player's next end step.
[0]: Create a 2/2 white Samurai creature token with double strike.
[–4]: For each player, choose a creature that player controls. Each player sacrifices all creatures they control not chosen this way.

When The Everflowing Well enters the battlefield, mill two cards, then draw two cards.
Descend 8 — At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are eight or more permanent cards in your graveyard, transform The Everflowing Well.