mtg.wtf

Double team
When Thayan Evokers enters the battlefield, conjure a card named Lightning Bolt into your hand, then discard a card.
Whenever you conjure one or more cards, put a +1/+1 counter on Thayan Evokers.

When you planeswalk to The Aether Flues and at the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice a creature. If you do, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle all other cards revealed this way into your library.
Whenever chaos ensues, you may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Descend 8 — The Ancient One can't attack or block unless there are eight or more permanent cards in your graveyard.
{2}{U}{B}: Draw a card, then discard a card. When you discard a card this way, target player mills cards equal to its mana value.

I, II — Look at the top five cards of your library. You may reveal an artifact card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
III — Artifacts you control become artifact creatures with base power and toughness 5/5 until end of turn.

I, II — Choose target nontoken creature you control that doesn't have the same name as a token you control. Create a token that's a copy of it, except it isn't legendary, is a Reflection in addition to its other types, and has haste.
III — Sacrifice all Reflections you control.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain X life, where X is the number of cards in your hand minus 4.
Whenever you gain life, each Advisor, Artificer, and Monk you control gains vigilance and gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the amount of life you gained.
Tap three untapped Advisors, Artificers, and/or Monks you control: Draw a card.

I — Incubate 2 five times, then transform all Incubator tokens you control.
II — Creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain double strike until end of turn.
III — Destroy all other permanents except for artifacts, lands, and Phyrexians. Exile The Argent Etchings, then return it to the battlefield.

{3}, {T}: Target creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn.

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each permanent sacrificed this turn.
Haste
The Balrog, Durin's Bane can't be blocked except by legendary creatures.
When The Balrog dies, destroy target artifact or creature an opponent controls.

Destroy all creatures with power 3 or greater. Then create a Food token for each creature you control.

I — Create a 2/2 blue Shapeshifter creature token with changeling.
II — Any number of target Shapeshifter creatures you control have base power and toughness 4/4.
III — Choose up to one target creature or planeswalker. Each creature with power 4 or greater you control deals damage equal to its power to that permanent.

Whenever The Belligerent attacks, create a Treasure token. Until end of turn, you may look at the top card of your library any time, and you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library.
Crew 3

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Look at the top card of your library. If it's an instant or sorcery card, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. If you don't put the card into your hand, you may put it into your graveyard. Activate only if you have exactly zero or seven cards in hand.

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

You may choose not to untap The Blackstaff of Waterdeep during your untap step.
Animate Walking Statue — {1}{U}, {T}: Another target nontoken artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature for as long as The Blackstaff of Waterdeep remains tapped. Activate only as a sorcery.

I — Create a 2/3 red Demon Berserker creature token with menace.
II — Whenever a Berserker attacks this turn, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.
III — Add {R} for each Berserker you control. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

At the beginning of your end step, if you gained 3 or more life this turn, create a 3/3 white Angel creature token with flying.
{W}{W}{W}, {T}, Exile The Book of Exalted Deeds: Put an enlightened counter on target Angel. It gains "You can't lose the game and your opponents can't win the game." Activate only as a sorcery.

At the beginning of your end step, if you lost 2 or more life this turn, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
{T}, Exile The Book of Vile Darkness and artifacts you control named Eye of Vecna and Hand of Vecna: Create Vecna, a legendary 8/8 black Zombie God creature token with indestructible and all triggered abilities of the exiled cards.

Creature tokens you control get +1/+0 and have lifelink.
At the beginning of your end step, create a 1/1 white and black Spirit creature token with flying.

Creature spells you cast from your hand have blitz {3}.
Whenever chaos ensues, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Each creature card in your graveyard has scavenge. The scavenge cost is equal to its mana cost.
Whenever chaos ensues, create two 1/1 white Warrior creature tokens.

I — Put two stun counters on each of up to two target tapped creatures.
II, III — For each non-Saga permanent, choose a counter on it. You may put an additional counter of that kind on that permanent.
IV — Search your library for a Doctor card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Whenever The Celestial Toymaker attacks, look at the top three cards of your library. Exile any number of them in a face-down pile and the rest in a face-up pile. Defending player chooses one of those piles. Put that pile into your hand.
At the beginning of each end step, each opponent loses 2 life for each spell or ability that caused one or more players to guess or to group cards or permanents into a pile this turn.

If it's neither day nor night, it becomes day as The Celestus enters the battlefield.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: If it's night, it becomes day. Otherwise, it becomes night. Activate only as a sorcery.
Whenever day becomes night or night becomes day, you gain 1 life. You may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.