mtg.wtf

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever Arteeoh deals combat damage to a player, you may exchange control of two other target artifacts. When you do, create a token that's a copy of target artifact you don't control, except it's a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token in addition to its other colors and types.

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap this creature.

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Whenever you planeswalk here and at the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
Whenever Chaos ensues, exile the top six cards of your library. An opponent or player outside the game chooses a nonland card with their favorite art. Then you may cast that spell without paying its mana cost.

Rulebreaker — If Arvad of the Weatherlight is your Commander, you may include legendary permanents of any color in your deck regardless of color identity.
Whenever Arvad deals combat damage to an opponent, you may put a legendary permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Whenever you planeswalk here and whenever a creature enters under your control, create a Food token.
Whenever you gain life, target opponent loses that much life.
Whenever Chaos ensues, you may sacrifice any number of artifacts or creatures. Draw that many cards and lose that much life.

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

When this artifact enters, you may put an art sticker on it.
{1}, {T}: Until end of turn, target creature becomes a blue Shark with base power and toughness 4/4. If the cracks in this artifact's art are completely covered, that creature becomes a blue Octopus with base power and toughness 8/8 instead. Activate only as a sorcery.

At Least It's a Dry Heat deals 1,000,000 damage to target creature. This damage can't be prevented, redirected, cause damage to be dealt to a player (sorry, Stuffy Doll), or be compared to damage dealt by sources on the east coast.

Populate. Proliferate. Investigate.
Regenerate target creature.
Replicate {2}{G} (When you cast this spell, copy it for each time you paid its replicate cost. You may choose new targets for the copy.)

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Mono Eminence — If Auntie Flint is on the battlefield or in the command zone and your deck's color identity is mono-black, creatures you control get +1/+0.
Whenever Auntie Flint attacks, another target creature gains fear until end of turn.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: You gain 3 life."

This artifact enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from this artifact: Draw a card.

Shroud (This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Flying
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, put a +2/+2 counter on each Vampire you control that dealt damage to that creature this turn.

Flying, vigilance, lifelink
Pay 8 life: Each creature you control gains indestructible until end of turn. Then, draw a card for each creature you control.

Equipped creature can't attack, block, or transform, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Shackle {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you don't control. Shackle only as a sorcery.)

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

During deck construction, name a Nephilim card originally printed in Guildpact. Awoken Nephilim has that card's color identity and is a copy of that card in all zones except it's also Legendary.

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has haste.
Equip {2}

Creatures opponents control entering the battlefield don't cause backup abilities to trigger.
At the beginning of your combat step, detain target creature with backup or vehicle an opponent controls. (Until your next turn, that permanent can't attack or block and its activated abilities can't be activated.)