mtg.wtf

Menace, trample, reach
Squirrels you control have "{T}: Target Squirrel gets +2/+2 and gains trample until end of turn. Activate only as a sorcery."
Whenever one or more Squirrels you control deal combat damage to a player, draw a card.

Whenever a Vehicle you control deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles that many cards from the top of their library. You may play lands from among those cards for as long as they remain exiled.
Crew 1

Indestructible
When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring.
{T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.

Whenever a creature you control leaves the battlefield, if it had counters on it, put those counters on The Ozolith.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, if The Ozolith has counters on it, you may move all counters from The Ozolith onto target creature.

You may choose not to untap The Pandorica during your untap step.
{1}{W}, {T}: Untap another target nonland permanent, then it phases out. It can't phase in for as long as The Pandorica remains tapped. When The Pandorica becomes untapped or leaves the battlefield, that permanent phases in. Activate only as a sorcery.

I — Exile the top five cards of your library. For each nonland card exiled this way, put a number of time counters on that card equal to its mana value. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend.
II — Time travel, then time travel.
III — For each opponent, destroy up to one target artifact that player controls.

Read ahead
I, II — Another target nonland permanent phases out. It can't phase in for as long as you control The Phasing of Zhalfir.
III — Destroy all creatures. For each creature destroyed this way, its controller creates a 2/2 black Phyrexian creature token.

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the total toughness of creatures you control.
Defender
{2}{U}{U}: Until end of turn, target creature you control gets +1/+0, gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw cards equal to its toughness," and can attack as though it didn't have defender.

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a creature or planeswalker card. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

If The Prismatic Piper is your commander, choose a color before the game begins. The Prismatic Piper is the chosen color.
Partner

Flying
Whenever another nontoken artifact enters under your control, create a 2/2 white Human Knight creature token with "This creature gets +2/+2 as long as an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn."
Crew 2

As The Rack enters, choose an opponent.
At the beginning of the chosen player's upkeep, The Rack deals X damage to that player, where X is 3 minus the number of cards in their hand.

Whenever The Rani enters or attacks, create a red Aura enchantment token named Mark of the Rani attached to another target creature. That token has enchant creature and "Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded."
Whenever a goaded creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, investigate.

At the beginning of each end step, if a player discarded a card this turn, create a 1/1 black Bird creature token with flying and "This creature can't block."
{3}{B}, {T}: Each opponent discards a card. Activate only as a sorcery.

I — Create a 1/1 blue Bird creature token with flying. You gain 2 life.
II — Whenever one or more creatures you control with flying deal combat damage to a player this turn, look at that player's hand and draw a card.
III — You may put a card you own from outside the game on top of your library.

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
As long as The Reality Chip is attached to a creature, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library.
Reconfigure {2}{U}

Advanced Species — Whenever a red source you control deals damage to one or more permanents and/or players, put a +1/+1 counter on The Red Terror.

I — Search your library for a basic Plains card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
II — You may discard a card. When you do, return target permanent card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.
III — Exile this Saga, then return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.

The Ring tempts you. Then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal X land cards, where X is the number of legendary creatures you control. Put those land cards onto the battlefield tapped and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

As The Ringhart Crest enters, choose a creature type.
{T}: Add {G}. Spend this mana only to cast a creature spell of the chosen type or a legendary creature spell.

[+1]: Draw a card, then discard a card.
[+1]: Target creature gets +2/+0 and gains first strike and trample until end of turn.
[–8]: Draw four cards. When you do, The Royal Scions deals damage to any target equal to the number of cards in your hand.

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent at random. Exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may play that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it. When you cast a spell this way, its owner loses life equal to its mana value.

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent loses X life and you scry X, where X is the number of Zombies you control.
{2}{U}{B}: Exile target creature card from a graveyard. Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie.
When The Scarab God dies, return it to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Whenever a creature with a -1/-1 counter on it dies, draw a card.
{1}{B}{R}: Put a -1/-1 counter on another target creature.
When The Scorpion God dies, return it to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.

I, II — Create a 2/2 green Alien Salamander creature token with islandwalk.
III — Until end of turn, whenever a Salamander deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to target creature that player controls.