mtg.wtf

When Octo Opus enters the battlefield, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice Octo Opus: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

Choose one —
• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)
• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

When Ol' Buzzbark enters the battlefield, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo {G}{G}, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Flying
Old-Fashioned Vampire gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

You lose the game.

Return target Booster Fun card from your graveyard to your hand.

Add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}{C}. You may open a sealed Magic booster pack. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among the cards in that booster pack.

Whenever you crank Optical Optimizer, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: Draw a card."

{1}: Turn target permanent you control to its other face.
{1}: Until end of turn, Optimus Prime, Inspiring Leader becomes a Construct with base power and toughness 6/6 and creatures you control gain trample.

When Orcish Paratroopers enters the battlefield, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it turns over completely at least once during the flip and lands face up.

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Menace
Whenever Overt Operative deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

{1}, Sacrifice Park Map: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.