mtg.wtf

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Whenever Suspicious Nanny deals combat damage to a player, it reassembles target Contraption that player controls. (Gain control of it and move it onto one of your sprockets.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.

Knightlifelink (Damage dealt by Knights you control also causes you to gain that much life.)
{W}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains vigilance until end of turn. Activate only from sunrise to sunset.
{B}: Syr Cadian, Knight Owl gains flying until end of turn. Activate only from sunset to sunrise.

{T}: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Creatures target player's team controls get +1/+1 until end of turn.

As Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Temp of the Damned enters the battlefield with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from Temp of the Damned. If you can't, sacrifice it.

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters the battlefield, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you're eating, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. Use food to represent the token.
Whenever a creature token you control dies, if it's represented by food, eat it.

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

{T}: Exile Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Decorated cards in your hand have miracle {S}. (Decorated cards include premiums, promos, and cards with alternate frames or art.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twelve or more decorated permanents, you win the game.