When you set this scheme in motion, each opponent who has more than five cards in hand discards cards equal to the difference. Then if fewer than three cards were discarded this way, you draw three cards.
"I will craft exquisite tortures from the roiling depths of your terrified mind."
When you set this scheme in motion, choose up to two target creatures your opponents control. For each one, create a token that's a copy of it. If you created fewer than two tokens this way, create a number of 4/4 colorless Scarecrow artifact creature tokens with vigilance equal to the difference.
When you set this scheme in motion, any number of target players each discard their hands. Each opponent draws cards equal to the number of cards that player discarded minus one. Then if you discarded a card this way, draw seven cards.
"You will crawl through the ashes of your own grand ambitions before I grant you the mercy of death."
When you set this scheme in motion, gain control of target creature an opponent controls until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gets +3/+3 and gains trample and haste until end of turn.
You may cast an instant or sorcery spell from your sideboard. If you cast a modal spell this way, you may choose an additional mode. (A modal spell lets you choose one or more modes from a bulleted list.)
Permanents you control gain hexproof and indestructible until end of turn. Seek a creature card if an opponent has cast a spell with mana value 3 or less this turn.
At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy another nonland permanent chosen at random, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on Yule Ooze equal to that permanent's converted mana cost. {R}{G}, Eat some food: Regenerate Yule Ooze.
Domain — Whenever Zar Ojanen, Scion of Efrava enters or becomes tapped, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control with toughness less than the number of basic land types among lands you control.
You may play lands and cast Insect spells from your graveyard. Whenever another Insect you control dies, put it on the bottom of its owner's library, then mill two cards. {1}{B/G}: Target Insect gets +1/+0 and gains deathtouch until end of turn.
At the beginning of your end step, if your life total is on the lazy caterer's sequence, create a Food token. If it's a Fibonacci number, create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token, then put a +1/+1 counter on each Fractal you control. If it's a square number, put three +1/+1 counters on each creature you control whose power and toughness are equal. (You'll want to look these up.)
{TK}{TK} — First strike {TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw that many cards. {TK}{TK} — 3/3 {TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/2
As Zombie Fanboy enters, choose an artist. Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.
The real advantage of being a zombie gamer? No one notices the stench.