mtg.wtf

When you planeswalk to The Dining Car, each player creates a Food token.
Sixty-Six Seconds — At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control. Then investigate.
Whenever chaos ensues, activated abilities of artifact tokens you control cost {2} less to activate this turn.

Whenever the Disciple of Nissa attacks, you may pay {X}{X}{X}{G}{G}. When you do, create X tokens that are copies of different Nissa planeswalkers chosen at random. They each enter with an additional loyalty counter. (There are currently eleven. Yes, Nissa, Sage Animist counts. Perhaps look up the list and roll a D20?)

Whenever The Disciple of Vess attacks, you may put a planeswalker card from your hand onto the battlefield. If you don't, create a token that's a copy of a Liliana planeswalker chosen at random.
(There are currently thirteen. Perhaps look up the list and roll a D20?)

Creatures enter tapped.
Whenever chaos ensues, for each opponent, choose up to one target nonland permanent that opponent controls. Untap those permanents. They phase out. They can't phase in for as long as The Doctor's Childhood Barn remains face up. When a player planeswalks, those permanents phase in.

If a creature would die, instead exile it and that creature's controller loses 2 life.
Whenever chaos ensues, redistribute any number of players' life totals.

Flying
Whenever The Dogronmaster or another Dragon or Dog enters the battlefield under your control, create a token that's a copy of the card Armadillo Cloak and attach it to that creature.

Whenever you roll the planar die, creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain haste until end of turn.
Whenever chaos ensues, end the turn.

When The Duke of Midrange enters the battlefield, choose one of Thoughtseize, Lightning Bolt, or Abrupt Decay. Cast a copy of the chosen card.
The Duke of Midrange's power is equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1.

Grumpy Co-play — When The Egotistical Velociraptor enters the battlefield, if you cast it, you may choose another Magic player not currently in a game of Magic and ask them to take over your game until the end of your next turn. If they agree, shuffle your hand into your library, draw four cards and gain 4 life. (You can't give them advice, but witty banter is encouraged.)

When The Eighth Doctor enters, mill three cards.
Once during each of your turns, you may play a historic land or cast a historic permanent spell from your graveyard. If you do, it gains "If this permanent would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

I. AM. TALKING! — Whenever The Eleventh Doctor deals combat damage to a player, you may exile a card from your hand with a number of time counters on it equal to its mana value. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend.
{2}: Target creature with power 3 or less can't be blocked this turn.

I — Search your library for a Doctor card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
II — Create a Food token and a 1/1 white Human creature token with "Doctor spells you cast cost {1} less to cast."
III — Create a token that's a copy of target creature, except it's a legendary Alien named Prisoner Zero.

Players skip their untap steps.
Whenever chaos ensues, untap all permanents you control.

You may play an additional land on each of your turns.

{T}: You may cast a spell with suspend from your hand. If you do, pay its suspend cost rather than its mana cost. Activate only as a sorcery.

The Fallen Apart enters with two arms and two legs.
Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.
The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

When you set this scheme in motion, target opponent chooses self or others. If that player chooses self, this scheme deals 6 damage to that player. If the player chooses others, this scheme deals 3 damage to each of your other opponents.

Flying, split second level up {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery. This can't be responded to.)
LEVEL 1-3
3/3
Flying
Whenever The Fearsome Flock deals combat damage to a player, gain control of target noncreature artifact that player controls. It becomes a Treasure.
LEVEL 4+
3/4
Flying
You may activate abilities of artifacts your opponents control as though you control them.

Whenever a player taps a land for mana, that player adds one mana of any type that land produced.
Whenever chaos ensues, reveal cards from the top of your planar deck until you reveal a plane card. Chaos ensues on that plane. Then put all cards revealed this way on the bottom of your planar deck in any order.

Whenever The Fifteenth Doctor enters or attacks, mill three cards. You may put an artifact card with mana value 2 or 3 from among them into your hand.
The first nonartifact spell you cast each turn has improvise.

Before the game begins, if The Fifth Alias is your commander or in your deck, secretly make a list of five nonland cards in your deck. (Don't forget to do this!)
As you draw a card on your list, you may reveal it, show it was on the list, and exclaim its name. If you do, cast it without paying its mana cost.

Peaceful Coexistence — At the beginning of your end step, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control that didn't attack or enter this turn. Untap those creatures.

When The First Doctor enters, search your library and/or graveyard for a card named TARDIS, reveal it, and put it into your hand. If you search your library this way, shuffle.
Whenever you cast a spell with cascade, put a +1/+1 counter on target artifact or creature.

When The Fish Brewer enters the battlefield or attacks, create a 1/1 Fish creature token that's all colors.
If another permanent entering the battlefield causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, tap any number of Fish you control. That ability triggers an additional time for each Fish tapped this way.

Kicker {5}
Search your library and/or graveyard for up to five Doctor cards, reveal them, and put them into your hand. If you search your library this way, shuffle. If this spell was kicked, put those cards onto the battlefield instead of putting them into your hand.