mtg.wtf

Trample, haste
Whenever The Gitrog, Ravenous Ride deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice a creature that saddled it this turn. If you do, draw X cards, then put up to X land cards from your hand onto the battlefield tapped, where X is the sacrificed creature's power.
Saddle 1

Flying
The Goose Mother enters with X +1/+1 counters on it.
When The Goose Mother enters, create half X Food tokens, rounded up.
Whenever The Goose Mother attacks, you may sacrifice a Food. If you do, draw a card.

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice The Great Juggernaut unless you discard a card.
Whenever The Great Juggernaut attacks, shuffle your library then exile the top card of your library. You may play that card without paying its mana cost this turn.

Ew-minance — When The Gunky Runner enters and at the beginning of the first upkeep in a game where it's your commander, shuffle three Gunk cards into each opponent's library. (Gunk is a colorless sorcery card with no mana cost and cycling {4}.)
Whenever an opponent loses life, they shuffle that many Gunk cards into their library.
Ready to run (You can have two commanders if both have ready to run.)

Flying, lifelink
Whenever The Haunt of Hightower attacks, defending player discards a card.
Whenever a card is put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, put a +1/+1 counter on The Haunt of Hightower.

When The Highland Runner enters and at the beginning of the first upkeep in a game where it's your commander, you may have each player's life total become 20. If you do, each of your commanders stop being commanders this game. Shuffle them into your library. (They no longer go to the command zone.)
Ready to run (You can have two commanders if both have ready to run.)

Horsemanship
The Horizon Seeker gets +1/+1 for each different named keyword and ability word among permanents you control and instant or sorcery cards in your graveyard. (For example, flying, landfall, and scry count. Flavor words, like "Magical Tinkering", or game terms like "enchant creature" and "mana" do not.)

When The Hourglass Coven enters the battlefield, draft a card from The Hourglass Coven's spellbook twice, then put those cards onto the battlefield.
Other Warlocks you control get +1/+1.

Haste
The Howling Abomination has trample as long as you've cast three or more spells this turn.
Whenever The Howling Abomination becomes the target of a spell, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn and deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Menace
Whenever The Infamous Cruelclaw deals combat damage to a player, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card. You may cast that card by discarding a card rather than paying its mana cost.

Other creatures you control enter the battlefield as a copy of Thraben Inspector. (They're 1/2s with "When this creature enters the battlefield, investigate".)
{2}, Sacrifice The Inspector Inspector: Draw a card.

Whenever this creature attacks, look at the top six cards of your library. You may put a Cat creature card from among them onto the battlefield tapped and attacking. Put the rest of the cards on the bottom of your library in a random order. If you don't put a card onto the battlefield this way, create a token that's a tapped and attacking copy of Lurrus of the Dream-Den.

Haste
{1}, {T}: Create a token that's a copy of another target creature you control, except it's a 1/1 red Balloon creature in addition to its other colors and types and it has flying and haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.

Trample
The Judge of Height gets +1/+0 for each creature on the battlefield that it's taller than. (A creature's height is equal to its toughness plus its mana value.)

Creatures you control get +1/+0 and have "At the beginning of your upkeep, this creature deals 1 damage to you."

Other creatures you control gain all bonuses conferred by equipment attached to this creature.
Creatures you control can't be goaded.

{3}{U}, {T}, Sacrifice another creature: Search your library for up to four cards that don't share a mana value, power, toughness, or card type with each other. Target opponent chooses two of those cards. Put the chosen cards into your graveyard and the rest into your hand. Then shuffle.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and draw a card. Then, double the amount of life you lose and cards you draw for the rest of the game from this ability. (This is true even if this leaves the battlefield and returns.)

When The Keeper of Favorite Cards enters the battlefield or attacks, name a nonland card and write it on your favorites list for this game. (You can have limitless favorites.)
Your favorite creatures get +1/+0.
Whenever you cast a favorite noncreature spell, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.

Echo {3}{W}{W} (At the beginning of your upkeep, if this came under your control since the beginning of your last upkeep, sacrifice it unless you pay its echo cost.)
When The Keeper of Four Scythes enters, create four Scythe tokens. (They're Equipment with "Equipped creature gets +1/+1" and equip {2}.)
Equipped creatures you control get +1/+1.

When The Keeper of Kaldra enters the battlefield, if it's the first time this ability has resolved this game, add Helm of Kaldra, Shield of Kaldra, and Sword of Kaldra as your companions. (You can pay {3} to put one into your hand from outside the game, once each. Use tokens to represent those cards.)
Creatures you control named Kaldra have hexproof.

You can't cast Keeper of the Yellow Hat during your first seven turns of the game. (Keep track if you're playing with this!)
When The Keeper of the Yellow Hat enters the battlefield, create a legendary artifact equipment token named Yellow Hat with equip {2} and "Equipped creature gets +4/+4 and gains lifelink."

Eminence — While The Knight of Commentary is in the command zone or on the battlefield, you are freely allowed to ask people for advice on your game while playing. (This includes nearby players, friends around you, and even people you message on your phone, but it all must be done in a timely fashion, courteously, and without causing large interruptions in other games.)

Partner with Knight (You may select any legendary Knight to be this creature's partner. It doesn't have to have Partner. You don't search for a Knight when this enters the battlefield.)
Knights you control have haste and "At the beginning of your end step, if you didn't play a land this turn, you may discard a card, then draw a card."