mtg.wtf

"Poets speak of your unrivaled speed," the Champion said to the assembled centaurs, "but it is plain to see that your true strength lies in your unwavering loyalty to one another."
—The Theriad

An invasion weapon of ages past, the glistening oil contained the blueprints of countless atrocities.

"I have heard terrible tales of black rains, ashen fields, and metal that screams. I have consoled myself that the tales were a myth of some fevered mind. But today I saw a walker—and now I fear the truth."
—Kasib Ibn Naji, Letters

"You old, immobile clod! If I could stuff your doltish head with knowledge, I'd do it just so someone else could fully comprehend what your stubbornness has cost me!"
—Bruse Tarl, Goma Fada nomad

The Neurok buried entangling cables just under the Quicksilver Sea. One seastrider harvest can provide an army's worth of armor and shields.

"I'd hate to see the bird that could get this wurm!"
—Alaborn soldier

It's rare that the Prakhata Club closes its doors. It's also rare that Lord Gonti meets with Consul Kambal. What are the odds the two would occur on the same day?

Elite training, single-minded devotion, and lazotep coating help only so much for invaders who are fundamentally bite-sized.

The Scrappers, an underground group with a passion for automaton brawls, had renegade leanings even before the Consulate's crackdown. It didn't take long for them to lend their best brawlers to the conflict.

A hunter in the city requires the utmost cunning to survive. It must pounce only if the kill is certain, and leave the remains where no one will see.

"How can you claim the gods are merciless when they robbed the snake of its limbs to give the other creatures a sporting chance?"
—Hakim, Loreweaver

The soldiers of the Legion of Dusk have come to the colonies at Queen's Bay in search of glory and riches. They are veterans of centuries of warfare, and they thirst for conquest.

Vorinclex removed its teeth so it wouldn't waste time chewing before moving to the next kill.

"Sometimes the bulls win, and sometimes the bears win. But the bulls have more fun."
—Anonymous

Some tried cremating their dead to stop the ghoulcallers. But the dead returned, furious about their fate.

The abundance of foes in Orazca means the raptors no longer need any orders.

DANGER! Keep appendages clear of front of machine. And rear of machine. And side of machine. And top of machine.

And would you strip the bark from a treefolk?
—Elvish expression meaning "Are you crazy?"

Unicorns don't care if you believe in them any more than you care if they believe in you.

It stalks the Regathan highlands, leaving behind melted snow, scorched earth, and the charred corpses of would-be temple robbers.

"Have you ever cornered a wounded vampire? That's a walk in the cathedral garden in comparison."
—Tristen, Cathar Marshal

"In this new world, I have seen the once-devout rhoxes take up arms with the savages of Jund. I would be offended, but I see the wisdom in their choice."
—Gernan, Dawnray archer

Devils are demons' unearthly desires made flesh. Let loose on the world, they satisfy their mad craving for destruction in a whirlwind of chaos.

"Since the war began, fishermen don't sing to the kaijin to ask for full nets. They guard the shore with thrice-blessed spears, saving the nets for their wives to pack their belongings and leave."
—Hayato, master sailor

The hulk rose from the sea and loomed over the Champion. Pinned beneath the twisting, rotted planks of wood was the body of Kaliaros, the helmsman of her former crew, and beside him the captain, Photine.
—The Theriad