Unhinged
Wet Willie of the Damned {2}{B}{B}
Sorcery
Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.
Ever the warrior, Glissa responded with a "wedgie from beyond Uranus."
When Fluffy Bunnies Attack {3}{B}
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.
"Get it? Bunnies, letters, -X/-X? Me neither."
—Bucky, flavor text writer
—Bucky, flavor text writer
When Fluffy Bunnies Attack {3}{B}
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.
"Get it? Bunnies, letters, -X/-X? Me neither."
—Bucky, flavor text writer
—Bucky, flavor text writer
Working Stiff {1}{B}
Creature - Mummy
As Working Stiff enters the battlefield, straighten your arms.
When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.
When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff.
Oh, does your nose itch?
2/2
Zombie Fanboy {2}{B}
Creature - Zombie Gamer
As Zombie Fanboy enters the battlefield, choose an artist.
Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.
Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.
The real advantage of being a zombie gamer? No one notices the stench.
1/1
Zzzyxas's Abyss {1}{B}{B}
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.
Tired of always being picked last, the wizard Zzzyxas created the ultimate revenge.
Assquatch {4}{R}
Creature - Donkey
Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.
Whenever another Donkey enters the battlefield, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.
Who wants to see a picture of a big hairy ass?
3½/3½
Blast from the Past {2}{R}
Instant
Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
Blast from the Past {2}{R}
Instant
Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
Curse of the Fire Penguin {4}{R}{R}
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.
Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.
Card has other part:
Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature
Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature
Creature - Penguin
(Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature keeps color and mana cost of Curse of the Fire Penguin when flipped)
TrampleWhen this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.
6/5
Card has other part:
Curse of the Fire Penguin
Deal Damage {2}{R}{R}
Instant
Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.
Until he got singed . . .
Dumb Ass {2}{R}
Creature - Donkey Barbarian
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.
Envying the intelligence of goblins is a bad place to be.
3½/2
Face to Face {1}{R}
Sorcery
You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.
Befuddled by this new game, Argg longed for the days of Rock, Rock, Rock.
Frazzled Editor {1}{R}
Creature - Human Bureaucrat
Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
The pen is mightier than the sword.
2/2
Frazzled Editor {1}{R}
Creature - Human Bureaucrat
Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
The pen is mightier than the sword.
2/2
Goblin Mime {1}{R}
Creature - Goblin Mime
When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.
Pretending to be inside an invisible box was easy enough for Brug. It was finding the invisible door that caused him problems.
2/2
Goblin Mime {1}{R}
Creature - Goblin Mime
When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.
Pretending to be inside an invisible box was easy enough for Brug. It was finding the invisible door that caused him problems.
2/2
Goblin Secret Agent {2}{R}
Creature - Goblin Rogue
First strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.
SECRET AGENT
PD042198
LICENSE TO BE KILLED
PD042198
LICENSE TO BE KILLED
2/2
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team {3}{R}
Creature - Goblin Warrior
Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.
They put the "special" in special weapons and tactics.
2/2
Mana Flair {1}{R}
Instant
Add {R} for each nonland permanent with art by the artist of your choice.
What began as black
Has slowly shifted to red.
Fickle color pie.
Has slowly shifted to red.
Fickle color pie.
Mons's Goblin Waiters {R}
Creature - Goblin Waiter
Sacrifice a creature or land: Add {HR}.
Poached Rukh Eggs
Rock
Cooked Rock
Unicorn-on-the-Cob
Wormfang Turtle Soup
Rock
Cooked Rock
Unicorn-on-the-Cob
Wormfang Turtle Soup
1/1
Mons's Goblin Waiters {R}
Creature - Goblin Waiter
Sacrifice a creature or land: Add {HR}.
Poached Rukh Eggs
Rock
Cooked Rock
Unicorn-on-the-Cob
Wormfang Turtle Soup
Rock
Cooked Rock
Unicorn-on-the-Cob
Wormfang Turtle Soup
1/1
Orcish Paratroopers {2}{R}
Creature - Orc Paratrooper
When Orcish Paratroopers enters the battlefield, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it turns over completely at least once during the flip and lands face up.
IOU one parashoot
—Urk, mogg fanatic
—Urk, mogg fanatic
4/4
Punctuate {3}{R}
Instant
Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)
"Ooh—right in the colon."