mtg.wtf

Cannot be the target of spells or effects. World Champion has power and toughness equal to the life total of target opponent.
{0}: Discard your hand to search your library for 1996 World Champion and reveal it to all players. Shuffle your library and put 1996 World Champion on top of it. Use this ability only at the beginning of your upkeep, and only if 1996 World Champion is in your library.

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

Flying
Whenever you cast a spell, put charge counters equal to four times that spell's mana value on this Vehicle.
Remove 121 charge counters from this Vehicle: Take an extra turn after this one.
Crew 1

[+1]: Distribute three +1/+1 counters among one, two, or three target creatures you control.
[+1]: Look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal an Aura, creature, or planeswalker card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
[–8]: You gain 100 life.

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

At Least It's a Dry Heat deals 1,000,000 damage to target creature. This damage can't be prevented, redirected, cause damage to be dealt to a player (sorry, Stuffy Doll), or be compared to damage dealt by sources on the east coast.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 200 or more cards in your library, you win the game.

If you would gain life, you gain that much life plus 1 instead.
{2}{W}{B}{G}, {T}, Exile Bilbo: Search your library for any number of creature cards, put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle. Activate only if you have 111 or more life.

(It's like flash but more card types.)
Blue Screen of Death enters with 108 curse counters.
{1}: Remove a curse counter from Blue Screen of Death.
Whenever a player spends more seconds with priorty during their turn than the number of curse counters on Blue Screen of Death, sacrifice it and they lose 6 life.

Station
STATION 10+
Whenever you attack, Dawnsire deals 100 damage to up to one target creature or planeswalker.
STATION 20+
Flying

Spells you cast cost {3} less to cast if they were originally printed in the following expansions or associated commander decks, depending on who won the Unknown event on February 18th, 2023:
Mirran Victory — Mirrodin, Darksteel, Fifth Dawn, and Scars of Mirrodin.
Phyrexian Victory — Mirrodin Besieged, New Phyrexia, All Will be One, and March of the Machine.

Gen gets +1/+1 for each different year of release among other nontoken permanents you control. (For example, if a card was released in 1993, that's one year of release. Specific editions matter.)
Whenever Gen attacks, if its power is 30 or greater, you win the game.

Shroud
{X}: Put X tower counters on this enchantment.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are 100 or more tower counters on this enchantment, you win the game.

While it's October 25th, 2024, whenever you cast your commander, create a token that's a copy of it except it isn't legendary.
While it's October 26th or 27th, 2024, if one or more tokens would be created under your control, instead twice that many tokens are created and each of them enters with a +1/+1 counter on it.
On any other date, both abilities apply. (Because why not?)

10,000 Needles — Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +9999/+0 until end of turn.

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Target creature gets -0/-9999 until end of turn.

If the Mirrans won the Unknown event on February 17th, 2023, Phila, Unsealed is also a Rebel with "You can't get poison counters," and has "{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}: Exile target artifact."
If the Phyrexians won that event, Phila is also a Phyrexian with "Other Phyrexians you control get +1/+1 and gain Toxic 1."

Pyromancy 101 deals 1 damage to any target.
Teach {1}{R} (Then exile this spell taught to a creature you control. For as long as this card remains exiled, that creature has "{T}: Copy the exiled card. You may cast the copy for its teach cost.")

Flying, haste
Whenever a creature you control with flying and/or haste attacks, you get 20% cooler. (You start at 0% coolness.)
Sonic Rainboom — {T}: If you're at least 100% cool, add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}, draw a card, and reset your coolness.

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

From the Future — You can't cast Spider-Man 2099 during your first, second, or third turns of the game.
Double strike, vigilance
At the beginning of your end step, if you've played a land or cast a spell this turn from anywhere other than your hand, Spider-Man 2099 deals damage equal to his power to any target.

When Spider-Man 2099 enters, return up to one target creature to its owner's hand.
Whenever one or more creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, draw a card.

Exile target creature if it has any abilities other than keywords. (Flying, protection, and partner are all keywords. See rule 702 for details. Landfall and scry aren't keywords; they're an ability word and a keyword action respectively. Yes, there's a difference.)

The Beleaguered Boxer can't be your Commander unless your deck is 100 cards and originally built out of no more than 36 booster packs, plus basic lands.
When The Beleaguered Boxer enters the battlefield, open a Magic booster pack. Remove up to three cards in your hand or graveyard from your deck permanently. For each card removed this way, add a card from that pack to your hand. Those cards are now permanently part of your deck.