mtg.wtf

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

When this creature enters the battlefield from anywhere other than a graveyard or exile, if it's on the battlefield and you control 9 or fewer creatures named "Name Sticker" Goblin, roll a 20-sided die.
1-6 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}.
7-14 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}{R}.
15-20 | Add {R}{R}{R}{R}{R}{R}.

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Cannot be the target of spells or effects. World Champion has power and toughness equal to the life total of target opponent.
{0}: Discard your hand to search your library for 1996 World Champion and reveal it to all players. Shuffle your library and put 1996 World Champion on top of it. Use this ability only at the beginning of your upkeep, and only if 1996 World Champion is in your library.

I — Conjure a card named Gilded Goose onto the battlefield.
II, III — You may tap an untapped Bird you control and sacrifice an artifact. If you do, conjure a card named Golden Egg onto the battlefield.

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

When A Killer Among Us enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 white Human creature token, a 1/1 blue Merfolk creature token, and a 1/1 red Goblin creature token. Then secretly choose Human, Merfolk, or Goblin.
Sacrifice A Killer Among Us, Reveal the creature type you chose: If target attacking creature token is the chosen type, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it gains deathtouch until end of turn.

As long as one or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it gets +2/+2.
As long as two or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has menace.
As long as three or more hands are touching A Real Handful, it has lifelink.

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Flying
When Aarakocra Sneak enters the battlefield, you take the initiative.

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Trample
Mark of Chaos Ascendant — During your turn, spells you cast from your hand with mana value X or less have cascade, where X is the total amount of life your opponents have lost this turn.

Up to two target creatures each get +1/+0 and gain first strike until end of turn.
Madness {1}{R}

You may cast spells that have a cycling ability from your graveyard.
If a card that has a cycling ability would be put into your graveyard from anywhere and it wasn't cycled, exile it instead.

First strike
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Abattoir Ghoul this turn dies, you gain life equal to that creature's toughness.

Flying, protection from red

Flying, vigilance

{W}, {T}: Abbey Matron gets +0/+3 until end of turn.

When Abdel Adrian, Gorion's Ward enters the battlefield, exile any number of other nonland permanents you control until Abdel Adrian leaves the battlefield. Create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token for each permanent exiled this way.
Choose a Background

Enchant creature
When Abduction enters the battlefield, untap enchanted creature.
You control enchanted creature.
When enchanted creature dies, return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Psionic Spells — When Aberrant Mind Sorcerer enters the battlefield, choose target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard, then roll a d20.
1—9 | You may put that card on top of your library.
10—20 | Return that card to your hand.

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, mill a card. If an instant or sorcery card was milled this way, transform Aberrant Researcher.

Flying
When Abhorrent Overlord enters the battlefield, create a number of 1/1 black Harpy creature tokens with flying equal to your devotion to black.
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature.

As Abian, Luvion Usurper enters the battlefield, you become Abian. (Your life total becomes equal to their loyalty. You can activate the loyalty abilities by spending or gaining life.)
[+3]: Discard your hand, then draw cards equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.
[+1]: Create a 3/2 red and green Spirit creature token.
[–X]: You deal X damage to any target.