mtg.wtf

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice a token. If you do, put an acorn counter on this artifact.
Squirrels you control get +1/+1 for each acorn counter on this artifact.
{G}, {T}: Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with toughness 3 or less, destroy the other creature at end of combat. At the beginning of the next end step, if that creature was destroyed this way, put a +1/+1 counter on the first creature.

When this creature enters, you gain 3 life.

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Nonbasic lands are Islands.

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Whenever an opponent discards a card or mills one or more cards, put a +1/+1 counter on each Advisor you control.
{2}{U/B}: Target player mills four cards.

Trample
When this creature enters, return up to two lands you control to their owner's hand.

Flying, trample
When this creature enters, you skip your next two turns.

Enchant player
As this Aura enters, choose a card name.
Spells with the chosen name enchanted player casts cost {2} more to cast.
Whenever enchanted player casts a spell with the chosen name, you may sacrifice this Aura. If you do, draw a card.

You may choose not to untap this creature during your untap step.
{T}: For as long as this creature remains tapped, target tapped creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step, and at the beginning of each of your draw steps, put a -1/-1 counter on that creature. When this creature leaves the battlefield or becomes untapped, remove all -1/-1 counters from the creature.

Ghired's Belligerence deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures. Whenever a creature dealt damage this way dies this turn, populate.

I — Aerial Blast — This creature deals 4 damage to target tapped creature an opponent controls.
II, III — Slipstream — Another target creature you control gets +1/+0 and gains flying until end of turn.
Flying

Whenever a player taps a permanent for mana, that player adds one mana of any type that permanent produced.
Whenever chaos ensues, target player can't cast spells until a player planeswalks.

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until this creature leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)

Flying
Whenever Balamb Garden attacks, draw a card.
Crew 1

Trample
As long as it's your turn and you control an Army, Grond is an artifact creature.
Crew 3

Archpriest of Iona's power is equal to the number of creatures in your party.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you have a full party, target creature gets +1/+1 and gains flying until end of turn.

Flash
When this Equipment enters, you get {E}{E}.
When this Equipment enters, attach it to target creature you control.
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Equip—Pay {E}{E}.

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Flash

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{U}{R}{W}
At the beginning of each end step, bolster 1.
When Optimus Prime dies, return it to the battlefield converted under its owner's control.

Vigilance
{G}: Regenerate this creature.

Protection from Goblins